It is a year of undesirable, unfulfilled, and so much left to be done. When I looked back of the past year, it seems that Facebook’s Year in Review is just not a good representation of what I’ve done in this year, so here goes my own year in review.
Graduated from University of Virginia, I still miss the university life. Missing the days that I can learn something unexpected, learn new strange stories, oh, the God, I miss these indigenous arts and stories from Bangalore, these LEGO motherboards and these free computing hours on Ranger the supercomputer. Missing these days I had only 20 dollars for 20 days of living.
Joined Facebook, released the first software I wrote that is used by millions of people. Have a regular life that go to work at 9:40 and go back home at 7:10. Settled and unpacked the 2 luggages with me for 3 years, falling in love with Mountain View and never home-sicking again.
Released ccv 0.1, and then 0.2, 0.3 until 0.4. I am so glad that many people loved it and agree with my philosophy of starting this project. It is premature and has many bugs, I haven’t finished the commercial-grade face detector that I promised for 2 months, the HTTP API is still a demonstration more than a usable one (lacking of uploaded photo cache), there are so many things that I need to do before this thing becomes serious.
Finally became serious about the patent reforming idea and the self-driving cars. I have so many ideas and so little have done with them.
Got rid of Red-bull and Monster, or energy drinks in general. Learned that excessive intake of B-6 will end up with sensory polyneuropathies. Get into alcoholism and fully know that will cause amnesia.
Lost 30 pounds, and continuing build my body to reach my genetic potential.
哪怕到了25岁，我还是一个自我为中心，常常做傻事，不顾别人感受，凡事都觉得自卑的小男孩。
昨晚做梦的时候，突然梦到了吃饺子。应该也不是最近吃得不好，毕竟这两天吃了最好吃的Uni，恰到好处的炸猪排，现做的Soba和香喷喷的牛尾汤拉面，到底有什么不满足的呢？也许是快一年没吃过饺子的缘故，也许是昨晚读了一晚的檀香刑，开始有点想念那些土话和土产。
俗话说：好吃不过饺子，好玩不过嫂子。后面这段先按下不表，只说前面这段。饺子好吃是有原因的。外国人总是分不清饺子，包子，抄手，云吞和馄饨，毕竟都是淀粉包肉呢！可是味道却大有不同。后面三个倒是亲戚，毕竟都是用切得方方正正的薄面皮，包上鲜肉馅。区别就在于配料的不同了，云吞和馄饨都得盛上熬得上好的骨头汤，撒上切得细细的青葱，唯一的不同是云吞里还有煮好的细面。喝上一口汤，咬一口馄饨，扎实紧致的肉馅，和骨头汤混在一起，让人分不清到底是汤鲜还是肉鲜。同是方正面皮包的抄手就有些许的不同了。抄手的馅常常要炒到半熟，有滋有味才开始包。煮熟的抄手要浇上红红辣辣的上好四川辣椒油，这才算是一碗好吃够劲的红油抄手。咬一口，先是辣椒油披头盖脸地把嘴烫得吱吱叫，把舌头的位蕾打开之后，抄手馅的百般滋味才混着淀粉慢悠悠地游进来，这时候，身体的每个毛孔都舒展开，再喝上一口啤酒，真是带劲。
说起包子，南方和北方的做法又不大一样。上海的汤包固然好吃，遗憾的却是没有那股淀粉和肉汁水乳交融的和谐感。于是只好靠蟹黄提鲜，来藏住肉油的腻味。其实，北方的鲜肉包和酱肉包才是最好吃最正宗的。上蒸屉之后，鲜肉里的脂肪开始融化，浸到柔软棉致的面皮里。这样做出来的包子，咬上一口，嘴里的脂肪和淀粉便开始自在地跳舞。或鲜香，或咸甜，口味重的，还可以沾上一点山西老陈醋，放两片大葱。
但是最好吃的，还是饺子。爸爸不会做饭，小时候，若中午的时候妈妈来不及回家，就只好带我下馆子。常去的正是一家饺子馆。三两水饺，一碗排骨汤，就是一顿正餐，能吃到肚子滚圆。饺子只有两种王道的做法，或蒸或煮（平底锅煎这样的路数，纵然好吃，也只能是旁门左道了），蒸道蒸饺，煮道水饺。而这家饺子馆，只擅长的是水饺。水饺的门道，在于馅好，皮包得扎实，如若把面皮给煮开了，便前功尽弃。毕竟是行家，饺子馆里的水饺从来都是不粘不破，一个个白白净净。馅数猪肉萝卜的最好，七分瘦，三分肥的猪肉，细细剁碎，掺入萝卜丝，白菜。等到饺子煮好，一咬开，瘦肉精嫩，肥肉的油水全被萝卜吸得饱饱的，不油不腻，倒是有几分萝卜的清香。饺子馆的红油是特制过的，比平时的辣椒红油更粘稠几分。饺子本皮光面滑，酱油醋都得滑将下来，唯有这特制的红油把饺子涂成了个大红花脸，放进嘴里，辣椒的香，饺子皮的滑，猪肉馅的鲜嫩，萝卜的清甜都混在一起，让人欲罢不能。
冬至到了，是时候熬一大锅的羊肉排骨萝卜干汤，煮上半斤猪肉水饺了。
果然擅长用各种方法把自己的身体搞残。今天早上还兴致勃勃地去晨跑，现在躺在床上动一下腰就开始钻心地痛，晚上也没办法出去活动。想起在18那年，在20那年，腰也疼过好一阵子，还绑了钢板矫正。突然一下就鲜活起来了，哎，20那年啊。
20那年的时候，懵懵懂懂，和不同的女孩去看电影吃饭，就真的是看电影吃饭。
20那年的时候，不认真读书，连龙同学都静下来好好上课之后，还天天和刘同学朱同学吃烧烤打星际。
20那年的时候，不懂事心气高，什么都不明白就开始写网站。
20那年的时候，乱花父母钱，买服务器，国内国外到处乱飞，还觉得自己很厉害。
20那年的时候，乱和其他公司搞关系，坐别人的小游艇，吃免费大餐，还把自己当个事。
20那年的时候，也读了三四十本杂七杂八的书。
20那年的时候，也跑了一千多公里就为了看心仪的女孩一眼。
20那年的时候，也穷到睡地板，每天吃一包方便面一根火腿肠。
20那年的时候，想做点事，却不知道怎么做。
20那年的时候，在北京城里有一个胖胖的男孩，天天在外面跑着，又不知道自己在做什么。
我想是在这几天，才觉得自己想做的好多事情都没有做。
果然对才华横溢的男人没有任何抵抗力啊！在看了莫言的演讲稿之后，对这个长相丑陋的人心中充满了好感。可惜从来也未读过他的书，后悔在小时候，浪费了太多时间在男羞涩女暧昧的乏味文字上。仅有的男欢女爱的描写，竟只来自于慕容雪村和余华。突然想起来中学的语文课本也不全是垃圾，隐约记得还有Bel Ami的选段呢，可大概是跳过了那些情爱的描写，否则怎么会了无印象呢。
蒲松龄总是幻想着和狐狸做爱，一只红色的狐狸，却害得青春期的莫言两腿发软。他们都不知道的是，上帝已经告诉了Joseph Smith，不能去强奸婴儿，只有和青蛙做爱才能治好AIDS。对，那和把自己的独生子送下来替所有人送死的上帝是同一个。
四川的冬天没有暖气，感觉更加苦涩阴湿。在这样的冬天里，每个汗毛都倒竖挺直地战斗。直到早上的一碗宽面，浇上红红浓浓的一大勺牛肉臊子，细汗浅浅地渗出来，上半场战斗结束，汗毛们稍事休息，洗个澡再继续。夏天的四川炎热闷湿，细汗混着含糊不清的东西黏黏汤汤地往下沁，直到一串刚从油辣椒汤里取出的土豆片，撒上细细的干辣椒粉，才大汗淋漓地往下淌出清澈的汗液。身体上的煎熬，混合着痔疮、便秘和风湿，才够资格坐在茶馆里，一边喝茶一边打麻将。老奶奶颤颤巍巍地推倒牌，胡了。
如果有一刻不再痛苦，我宁愿舒服地死去。
漫山遍野的秋雨敲打着漫山遍野的梧桐叶，我站在山的这边又喊又叫，嘿，小猫你好！阳光霎那间铺满了水面，小鱼儿吓得从梦中蹿了起来，晶莹剔透的小水珠，还没反应过来就消失不见。你站的桥的那边，雾水打湿了手链。去年采的辣椒，还在陶缸里发酵，打着伞搅着酱，走在又辣又香的缸沿上。
洋瓷碗打碎了一边，小瓷猫掉了个耳角，招着手叫你进来，算上一卦。一五得五，九三潜，小人在边不难贤，套得天开又地额，便知乾坤在中涧。桌上的弓弩带着暗红，旁边的匕首沾满了铁锈，打湿的稻草点不起火，阴阴冷冷地睡在地板上，牛粪的味道。
大人们不明白的，是小孩子的知了。门口的牵牛花，刚刚一岁大。阿嬷说，去吧，去吧，那里就是远方。萤火虫听了，带着蒲公英一起逃跑，地平线的中央。蹒跚学步就拿着勺子乱跑，吓跑了泥鳅，踩伤了狗尾巴草。喂，今天天气可好？
糖分，在哪？
Found there is a description section under “Religious Views” and “Political Views”, I decided to spend 10 minutes to fill them out, and here it is, all start with “I believe”:
Religious Views: Atheist
I believe that there is no God, not even “natural Gods” in the current universe. We are the result of a big randomization process that governed by a set of randomized rules. Thus, there is no purpose other than the pursuit of optimizing on the set of randomized rules that began with. The concept of causation is very doubtful. It will be proven sooner or later that causation is an illusion that only exists because the limit of our perspective and cannot see things spontaneously. The rareness of conscious beings is far overrated. The realization of consciousness is only a mere temporary assistance to the med-long-term survival of individuals and there is no prestigious in such.
Political Views: Liberal
I believe that the stabilization we enjoyed less than a century is a temporal and localized phenomenon. Such ordering and prosperity cannot be expected to last long. As the individual is more empowered with advanced tools and technologies, a people’s government will face more challenges in satisfying more diversified needs, and it will be proven to be impossible. Thus, I believe the densely populated metropolises, cities and suburbans will be rotten with demolished government power, and the population needs to be much more sparsely distributed (one person per 100 mile square or less) to continue their existence.
Two weeks ago, after the Android training, I am starting a thought experiment on, given the state of current mobile hardware, what would be if we start to design a mobile OS (or more accurately, a mobile OS framework) from ground up? It is 2012, a mobile OS doesn’t merely mean an abstraction above the hardware layer. It is a whole package specially designed to streamline the interaction of its application with graphic and user input systems. You are not required to redesign the file IO, or the network interface or the hardware interrupt. From an application developer’s point of view, and the feasibility of the current mobile hardware, what’s the most crucial parts of a new mobile OS framework? The set of choices presented here ranging from the language features, to the interaction with graphic system, and to the interaction between applications.
1). Animation as the First-class Citizen
Animation shouldn’t be the after-thought. The new mobile OS framework should design its graphic / object system based on animations. In the language level, animation should be easily in-lined (a good example about what means to be in-lined is what LINQ to C#). Animation, fundamentally, is per-transition based, in a typical MVC arrangement, managing transition is a job of controller. It doesn’t make sense to have a separate animation presentation in another language (CSS or XML). To say that later we can swap a better animation if we separate the two is an ignorance to the relationship between animation and interaction. There is only one or very small subset of animations make sense for a given interaction, the thinking of swapping different animations for one transition is fundamentally flawed.
Implicit animation (as in iOS CALayer) v.s. explicit animation: explicit. Having implicit animation while given developers the ability to specify animation means you have to have a mechanism to disable the implicit animation. That’s just digging hole for the framework designer. Besides, for any quality interaction design, implicit animation is, always getting in the way. Whenever possible, framework designer should always give back the flexibility on choosing animations back to application developer. No implicit animation would avoid the confusion, and providing cleaner interface for both the framework designer and the application developer.
2). Message-passing, Multithreading and Event Loop
Go with multiple event loops and message-passing. In the language level, parallel execution is formalized with channels and message-passing rather than locks and shared-memory. There will be no such thing as main thread throughout the UI framework. Every execution is asynchronous. It does impose problems when quick responses to touch events are required.
3). Key-Value-Observing and Well-defined Behavior
Every property of every component, from UI to IO, can be observed. Even many UI events are delivered through KVO rather than a event callbacks. In the language level, these KVOs are asynchronously delivered by its message-passing system.
4). A Single True Persistent Object Management System
Framework shouldn’t hide the performance implications of the persistent object system (thus, shouldn’t provide a transparent persistent object system). But it should provide some kind of performance-explicit persistent object management system. This persistent object management system is the single recommended way to persist data, thus, free developers from dealing with different persistent object systems, and most importantly, developers can now make safe assumptions about the underlying data persistent mechanism to simplify their work on upper layers such as custom views etc.
5). Easy Interaction with C/C++
It would be an atrocity to not provide a way to compile with C/C++ libraries, in language level, this should be as simple as linking to the generated object file.
6). Garbage-collection
This is controversial, but I believe that for any non-trivial parallel programs, memory / object life-cycle management is very difficult. Especially for a complex message-passing based system, managing the life-time of objects that passing around, potentially in a processing queue is a recipe to disaster. But all have been said, rolling out a half-baked garbage-collector is not an option for mobile OS because the real constraint on both memory and CPU. It does need careful profiling to see how far a garbage-collector can go even in current hardware environment.
原来喜欢一个人可以让自己这么卑微。他一边唯唯诺诺地想到，一边喏喏着:「呐，这是你第一次么？」坐在旁边的姑娘还是有些拘谨：「也不是，那。有经历过一两次了。」他稍微放了一下心，总不能算是在糟蹋姑娘。侧面望过去，右边的头发络过后耳框，显出仿佛半透明的粉红色耳垂。什么装饰也没有，像是在骄傲地宣示着青春无敌。黑黑的眼珠，睫毛往上梳得一丝不苟，不敢看他，只能望着前方的快速车道，却显得愈发有神了。他想，分明是黑色的头发、黑色的眼珠、娇小的鼻子，侧面看嘴唇却那么翘，是赌气还是不服输呢？越发这样想，他看得越怔，越觉得无地自容。
在十年前的八月的某个午后，也是这样的一个姑娘坐在他的对面。当时的他还不怎么能喝酒，一瓶青岛纯生就能把脸涨得通红。刚刚在父亲的生日宴上被灌到手脚发麻，还是要跑出来见她。「你没事吧？」「喏，还好。」「让你找的资料带了吧？社会实践的幻灯片得今天做好。」「嗯，在U盘里。」姑娘把U盘拿过来赶快插了进去，他却鼓起勇气把姑娘的电脑给按上：「我想，我想和你去看电影！」姑娘愣了一下，顾左右而言它：「可是又没买电影票，这么突然」他拿出买好的两张电影票，拽着姑娘就往三楼走。这大概是他除了初一往老师讲台下扔火仗外做得最有种的事情了。
瘦，真的是瘦，手真是太瘦了。盯着旁边姑娘规规矩矩叠在腿上的双手半晌后，他心里自顾自地怜惜道。手指还是细长的，指甲也精心涂过了，皮肤却没有光泽，仿佛一捏就会碎掉，让人担心。左手中指上还有淡淡的印痕，是什么呢？「快到了吧？」姑娘冷不丁冒这样一句，打断了他的思路。老杨回道，「嗯，快了，还十分钟。」就像要看到天井里的第一缕阳光似的，姑娘眼睛亮得自己都要发光了。他已经被灼伤了。
一进电影院，他就睡着了。好一会，突然被口水呛到，一下醒过来，姑娘已经不见了。他一边懊恼自己没用，一边跺脚恨自己，一边叹气，好不容易骗喜欢的姑娘一起看电影，自己却没用睡着了，还一脸死猪睡相。正在对自己气不可遏的时候，姑娘却回来了，一手拿着爆米花，另一手还给他拿了一瓶梨子汽水。他想，我真的是应该喜欢她的，什么时候告诉她我下学期就要出国了呢？
这就到了。「这是KPMG今年派来的审计师李小姐。」他开始无精打采地介绍身边的这位姑娘。果然KPMG里面不乏一群垂涎美色的老男人啊。他心里一边暗骂，一边哈喇子都要掉出来了。
「下周我们乐队在校庆上表演，你会过来吗？」他突然受宠若惊地收到那姑娘的邮件。嗯！他默默对自己说，一边去Kayak订了回程的机票。但那天人山人海，被人群托住的那个穿红色毛衣的姑娘，竟然是最后一瞥，连再见也没有。自己原来只是一只平凡卑微的工蚁啊，他自嘲道。
那些懦弱卑微的爱啊，被噔噔噔的高跟鞋踩得粉碎。「喏，李小姐，今晚我们公司安排的活动不能不来哦！」
多年前的我，觉得这是可笑的。无非是”富二代“的自负，和所谓慈善的伪善。毕竟，”我奋斗了十八年才和你坐在一起喝咖啡“。那些更有自我控制，更努力奋斗，更专注也更聪明的人似乎值得拥有任何和其努力所对应的东西。那可是每天12个小时不眠不休的工作连续三年，才换来一辆Audi R8的啊。时至今日，仍然觉得大部分的慈善秀场虚伪可憎，却不再拥有那种应得的使命感。应该更虔诚一些。
每天刻苦学习，努力思考，加紧工作的人，就真的比每天晃晃悠悠，打架斗殴，抢劫强奸，欺骗讹诈的人值得获取更多么？回忆一下，这他妈都是谁告诉你的。诚然，现在的社会架构是奖励那些“每天刻苦学习，努力思考，加紧工作的人”，但是，这也只是幸运的一种方式。那些会搞婚外情的猴子更有机会繁育后代，杀人狂的猩猩把自己的精液给了更多的雌性，他们的基因幸运地留在了我们的身上。
果然在飞机上不能看煽情的电影，哭得一塌糊涂后还得排队去洗手间，真是丢脸死了。
在和某同学开心地一路超速从Duke回Charlottesville的时候，百无聊赖，除了同时赞赏短效避孕药的方便和益处，并学习其调理身体的原理外，又玩了好多轮的“二选一”。从Q & A学来的这个游戏真是太好玩了，其中选项包括Porsche or Ferrari，Emma Waston or Natalie Portman，U.S.A. or China，Google or Apple，Doggie or Missionary，杨幂 or 刘亦菲，奶茶 or – 嘀 –。还是Ferrari，Emma Waston，Doggie和奶茶比较正啊。
“感动个屁啊，你可是我追了N年的女生”
“原来念书也是一件热血的事情”
“被你喜欢过，总觉得别人喜欢得不够”
某同学也对此强烈点头：“总是忘不了过去，觉得还有机会再来一次还是想，因为总骗自己是客观因素”。都他妈一直是成绩巨好的男生，一向精于算计，除了可以对答案直接算出考试成绩，代笔情书按字数决定报酬，连追女生都是用胸部大小加年级外貌排名算出一个数值再决定。被高年级的同学一吓连出寝室门打架都不敢。干过最NB的事情就是小学三年级的时候在女生书包里面放死老鼠，四年级的时候看后排女生扒胸罩。
前些天再看一次《十七岁不哭》，第一集还没看完，就开始骂娘和反胃。可是，老大，老二，老三，老五，老六，我还是想见她。不管她是结婚了，发福了，生小孩了，当妈妈了，再见一次。就算破灭了也好。至今仍念念不忘的，只是穿着红色毛衣在人流中的一瞥而已。”我担心，都被人流冲散了，她怎么找得到妈妈呢？于是我就盯着她的红色外套，看着那件小小的红色外套在人流中逐渐变成一个小红点，渐渐远去“。当天蓝色变成了霾，橘色变成了青灰，连粉红和亮黄都惨白一片，楼梯口的那抹红色，从废墟旁边走过的小女孩，晃眼的是泯灭的希望和坐在证人席上非凡的勇气。
脸上的青春痘快好了，但还是那个弱弱的青春期的小男孩。