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原来喜欢一个人可以让自己这么卑微。他一边唯唯诺诺地想到,一边喏喏着:「呐,这是你第一次么?」坐在旁边的姑娘还是有些拘谨:「也不是,那。有经历过一两次了。」他稍微放了一下心,总不能算是在糟蹋姑娘。侧面望过去,右边的头发络过后耳框,显出仿佛半透明的粉红色耳垂。什么装饰也没有,像是在骄傲地宣示着青春无敌。黑黑的眼珠,睫毛往上梳得一丝不苟,不敢看他,只能望着前方的快速车道,却显得愈发有神了。他想,分明是黑色的头发、黑色的眼珠、娇小的鼻子,侧面看嘴唇却那么翘,是赌气还是不服输呢?越发这样想,他看得越怔,越觉得无地自容。
在十年前的八月的某个午后,也是这样的一个姑娘坐在他的对面。当时的他还不怎么能喝酒,一瓶青岛纯生就能把脸涨得通红。刚刚在父亲的生日宴上被灌到手脚发麻,还是要跑出来见她。「你没事吧?」「喏,还好。」「让你找的资料带了吧?社会实践的幻灯片得今天做好。」「嗯,在U盘里。」姑娘把U盘拿过来赶快插了进去,他却鼓起勇气把姑娘的电脑给按上:「我想,我想和你去看电影!」姑娘愣了一下,顾左右而言它:「可是又没买电影票,这么突然」他拿出买好的两张电影票,拽着姑娘就往三楼走。这大概是他除了初一往老师讲台下扔火仗外做得最有种的事情了。
瘦,真的是瘦,手真是太瘦了。盯着旁边姑娘规规矩矩叠在腿上的双手半晌后,他心里自顾自地怜惜道。手指还是细长的,指甲也精心涂过了,皮肤却没有光泽,仿佛一捏就会碎掉,让人担心。左手中指上还有淡淡的印痕,是什么呢?「快到了吧?」姑娘冷不丁冒这样一句,打断了他的思路。老杨回道,「嗯,快了,还十分钟。」就像要看到天井里的第一缕阳光似的,姑娘眼睛亮得自己都要发光了。他已经被灼伤了。
一进电影院,他就睡着了。好一会,突然被口水呛到,一下醒过来,姑娘已经不见了。他一边懊恼自己没用,一边跺脚恨自己,一边叹气,好不容易骗喜欢的姑娘一起看电影,自己却没用睡着了,还一脸死猪睡相。正在对自己气不可遏的时候,姑娘却回来了,一手拿着爆米花,另一手还给他拿了一瓶梨子汽水。他想,我真的是应该喜欢她的,什么时候告诉她我下学期就要出国了呢?
这就到了。「这是KPMG今年派来的审计师李小姐。」他开始无精打采地介绍身边的这位姑娘。果然KPMG里面不乏一群垂涎美色的老男人啊。他心里一边暗骂,一边哈喇子都要掉出来了。
「下周我们乐队在校庆上表演,你会过来吗?」他突然受宠若惊地收到那姑娘的邮件。嗯!他默默对自己说,一边去Kayak订了回程的机票。但那天人山人海,被人群托住的那个穿红色毛衣的姑娘,竟然是最后一瞥,连再见也没有。自己原来只是一只平凡卑微的工蚁啊,他自嘲道。
那些懦弱卑微的爱啊,被噔噔噔的高跟鞋踩得粉碎。「喏,李小姐,今晚我们公司安排的活动不能不来哦!」